History Maker

Profile

Ethel was here. :)

Loves ♥

Say Hello

Friends ♥

Amanda
Beatrice Huang
Bryan Chan
Bryan Phay
Cordelia
Crystal Shong
Dudley Lin
Eileen Tan
Emiko Thien
Eugin
GuangEn
Hong Xiang
Jeanine
Jessebella
Jessica
Joel Teh
Josh
Lynnshan
Matthew Ee
NVSS Drama
Pei Yi
Rachel Kum
Rachel Lim
Raj
Samuel Chia
Sophia Sim
Stephanie Yap
Suhailah
Su Shan
Wai Wan
Wally
Yee Chien
Yen Teng
Yoz Net
Yuan Jie
Yuan Jun
Yun Jia
name

Archives

June 2008
July 2008
August 2008
September 2008
October 2008
November 2008
December 2008
January 2009
February 2009
March 2009
April 2009
May 2009
June 2009
July 2009
August 2009
September 2009
October 2009
November 2009
December 2009
January 2010
February 2010

Credits

title: Chocolate durian cake
date: Monday, February 8, 2010
time:12:18 AM

Happy 18th birthday Lynnshan dear!

I hope you had a great day and dinner with Matt and me. It was so awesome seeing you again after so long. :)

I wish we took a picture though. Let's meet up again soon and catch up somemore!

I love you dear!

comment? / top

title: We're slow dancing in a burning room
date: Thursday, January 28, 2010
time:12:45 AM

It's hard to be sad when you have so many people around you. But innately there's always something missing. A sense of loneliness that no amount of fun, alcohol, talking, company, ice cream or food can occupy. It's an intangible feeling that possibly afflicts the majority of us.

I'm known for thinking too much and too fast for my own good. I believe it drives my friends around me insane. The rate at which I make up my mind, or change it. I know for sure that it drives me crazy. It's like a blur of activities in your mind slurring itself into an asymmetrical mix of thoughts. This infuriates me. Yet I hold on to it dearly because it is possibly one of the few things that make me, me.

Recently I've been hooked on this song, and this particular cover. It's so lovely and the two guys are so adorable. :)

comment? / top

title: The lies that divide us
date: Saturday, January 16, 2010
time:1:20 AM

So many things happen for a reason. We allow them to or they happen in their own accord within the cosmic scheme of things.

Sometimes it's just better to let things happen like a paper plane falling to the ground. Everything is still. There's no sound.

This week was majorly insane. My mind and body worked overtime. I slept lesser than the average man and I thought more than I should have.

Week 2 of school starts next week. Woopdeedo.

comment? / top

title: 2010 Resolutions
date: Monday, January 4, 2010
time:8:25 PM

Tis the season to be jolly. I have a burning urge to keep blogging and blogging and I am running a temperature AGAIN. As if being sick for New Years wasn't enough. Haha. No fear. I will see the doctor tomorrow.

Anyways, my 2010 resolutions are:

1. Treat my family better.

2. Get my drivers license.

3. Don't mess up A levels. (I have a set of proposed Prelim and A level grades.)

4. Send in college applications to UCLA, USC, NYU and Julliard.

5. Do my Sats.

6. Excel in The Young Co and ColourFunk.

7. Continue working on films if time allows.

8. Grow taller and lose more weight? Haha.

and a few others which are private. You can ask me but I probably won't tell. :P

As usual, I have a planned a very hectic and packed schedule for me in the following year. The usual ambitious drive is glowing from within me. I just hope that my 'lack of discipline' won't screw things up. Anyways, I am very excited to work on my newest film 'King Con!' for Lizz in Tisch. I've even painted my nails dark blue for the role. Rehearsals start tomorrow and filming starts Thursday. Tres exciting! :)

comment? / top

title: 2009-The Year of Unexpectedness
date:
time:3:00 AM

Hello everyone! Looking back to my end of year post of 2008, I've come to realize that I have not fulfilled any of my new year resolutions of 2009.

I resolved to:

1 - Cope well with my studies, TSD, Ben and Jerry's, my tuition job and my life.

(Haha. That's a lot huh?)

2 - Books in. Boys out. (For real this time.)

3 - Learn to drive and get myself a vespa.

4 - Lose more weight. Be like 48kg.

5 - Grow taller.

Well, as you can see. I have not gotten my drivers license (only in theory!), grown taller or gotten skinnier, or can be considered as an A level graduate yet. Therefore, all my 2009 resolutions have fallen through the roof. However, this doesn't deter me. I have another set of 2010 resolutions that I have made and I have resolved to see them through. I ended 2008 on such a high note, looking forward into the new year. But somehow, my energy for the new year is all drained. In fact, I can feel myself hesitantly dreading it.

Anyways, in 2009. I didn't expect many things.

First of all, I didn't expect theater politics to be so overwhelming. I also didn't expect to enter MSU Finals which eventually led to me being dropped out of my TSD A Level Practical group. Perhaps it was due to poor time management on my part that would eventually jepordize the group's overall performance. Whatever the case was, things took a turn from there.

I made a lot of new friends through this, and it was the start of something even bigger.

After which everything ended, I didn't expect myself to get into Singtel Grid Girls Top 21. Now when this happened, the situation in school didn't get better. I had to make a hard decision and choose between this or TSD, even with the new batch. Previous experiences led me to decide to give up the latter for a 'greater good'. It was something that was so hard to do. You see, I've never loved anything and sacrificed as much as I have for theater, and I was about to give that up.

Anyways, Singtel Grid Girls was good exposure and experience. It opened my eyes and mind to many things, and I also made lots of good friends and went to London and Bintan and had the opportunity to be on TV.

Singtel Grid Girls took up a big portion of my year last year. 5 months odd to be exact. I remember rushing to Mediacorp for rehearsals in my school uniform and studying during breaks on race day itself. I also remember the phone calls asking why I wasn't there while I was still in school. How can I forget to mention about the incessant meetings my Mom had with my school to discuss about my academics?

2009 was the first year I ever stayed back a year. Thus from July onwards, I was no longer in 08A04, my class was now 09A04. I managed to stay on in J2 long enough to get invested out of council. One of the few reasons that kept me going to school everyday.

09A04

Thankfully I survived promos (again) and managed to get my butt promoted. There are so many technicality errors but I shall not dwell on them because I'll sound like a nag.

Anyways, after school was out, that was it for books for me. I spent a lot of my time working, acting, partying and hanging out with friends. Honestly, until now, I haven't done my holiday homework. Which I WILL eventually get started on.

You see. Despite the big pit hole that I fell into in 2009, many good things also happened. I had an awesome family and friends. I got into The Young Co and ColorFunk. I discovered Word of the Actor. I am working on films and doing what I love. I attended two Commissioning Balls and I went to Hong Kong to be a guest VJ for Channel V. On top of all that, I met some amazing people along the year.

Pictures speak a thousand words.

Do I need to even mention about my best friend Su Shan? It's been 6 years and counting and we're still going strong. Haha. This will be the first of many changes to come in the future. But I'm just very thankful that she's always been there for me. We're completely opposite people but we somehow still click.

My two best friends. :)

The regulars. (Pictures in no particular order)

Awesome friends from school :)

Cell Group :)

The girls who I usually spend my nights with :)

HK Trip :)

There are recent pictures of my family but they're not uploaded into my computer yet. When they are, I'll post them up.

So it's now 4.16am and my brain is hardly working. I'd love to tell you about my 2010 resolutions but I'm afraid doing so will jinx it. I'll see how it goes.

Semi finishing this entry actually kind of makes me look forward to the New Year. Perhaps it's just a gust of wind. I may be imagining it.

Good night! :)

Happy New Year to all!

comment? / top

title: Live like we're dying
date: Monday, December 21, 2009
time:2:17 AM

It's been a long time since I've blogged about anything. So many things are happening at once and it's hard to comprehend the thoughts and events occurring at the same time. One song can sum up the present.

comment? / top

title: We're all living on a rabbit's back
date: Friday, November 27, 2009
time:1:19 AM

I'm not too happy with myself.

2 days ago, I met someone new. She seemed like this perfectly nice and sweet person. But somehow I could not find myself warming up to her as I would have done before. Internally within me, there was this invisible force field holding me back. Prohibiting me from exhibiting friendly social behavior like I would normally do. At the exact same time, a voice in my head was telling me to just go ahead and do what I would do. Footloose and fancy-free would be the phrase associated with it. However, this invisible force field was preventing me from carrying out the advice given by this voice.

I believe that that was my overly heightened sense of self awareness speaking to me. The voice that constantly tells me what I should or should not do.

I've realized that over time, with so many occurrences and incidents in life that happens leave people slightly more apathetic and conditioned than before. Skepticism and cynicism creep in. Intentions and motivation are doubted. Society has also evolved to accept these skeptics and cynics as the norm. A time when helping someone or doing something entails no obligations. Perhaps there was never a time like this. Perhaps bits and pieces of the dark side have always existed within the crevices of our noggin.

I don't know. Many things have happened to me, as would everyone else say about themselves. These incidents have killed my naivety and only heightened my skepticism and cynicism about the world and people around me. I no longer trust people as easily, or warm up to people as quick as I used to. I feel less empathy and sympathy for suffering and pain. I don't see the world through a child's eyes.

Going back to 2 days ago, I don't know what caused me to behave like that. It may be a small thing (I like making mountains out of molehills), but it's big to me. Now naivety and gullibility does not seem like a bad thing after all. I believe this 'phenomenon' happens to a large majority when growing up. Hence adults live in a world where distrust and dubious intentions are commonplace. Someone doing a service to another is psycho analyzed and there must be a reason behind it.

I'm just saying that I don't like how this is happening. How this conditioning to events is hardening me. How I now longer believe in humanity.

Once you're conditioned, nothing changes.

So I have made up my mind, to embrace this change. Yet, at the same time, do what I love doing, breaking convention.

Oh yes, I have something to say about why this may happen.

I believe it's caused by disappointment.

Disappointment in people that you once trusted.

Disappointment in knowing that you didn't do the best you could.

Disappointment in a someone being nice to you had ill intentions.

Disappointment in someone who was once very close hide her face when she chances you on the streets.

Disappointment in parents not living up to their duties.

Disappointment that life doesn't work out the way you want to.

Disappointment in having no one that truly understands you.

Disappointment in knowing that the person you love will probably never feel the same way.

Disappointment for not doing what you promised.

Disappointment in thighs that meet will probably never separate.

Disappointment for every moment your heart fell or cringed upon hearing or seeing something.

So, when life throws you yarn, make socks.

Love, Ethel

comment? / top

title: Why I will NEVER be a teacher
date: Tuesday, November 24, 2009
time:3:25 PM

Warning: The following blog post may contain explicitly opinionated material that may or may not upset certain people of a certain occupation. Please read with your own discretion.

I'm really upset.

I'm upset because I'm stuck somewhere that I don't want to be in. Something small happened today that reminded me how appalling the social behavior of some teachers in school. It's ironic how higher authority in educational institutions constantly drill into us to have good attitudes and well-balanced lives. The twist in this story is that many of them lack this ability and hardly qualify to be teaching this lesson.

Going back to school today to make a short medical insurance claim just proved how much this was true. While walking into the general office, I was right in front of another teacher who was just leaving. As I was much taller than her, one would expect normal social procedures to take place, such as looking up and holding the door slightly longer than usual to let the other person in, which would then be followed by awkward smiles and thank yous.

I mean, correct me if I'm wrong, this is what is usually done outside in the real world. But this teacher did just the opposite. She neither lifted her eyes nor held the door open for a nanosecond longer. Instead, she closed it quickly behind her and very very close to my face. When that happened, it woke me up from my dreamy state.

'Hey, you're in school. What did you expect?'

This then got me thinking and lamenting (quite loudly to my Mother) about how much teachers may hate students. I mean, I'm going by a long shot here, but it seems like teachers hate their profession and students. I'm just generalizing here about the few that I've encountered. I'm not saying ALL teachers out there are like that. But I'm talking about the rest that seem unhappy and bitter about their jobs. The rest that seem to think that they really are better than the students that they teach. The rest that think that students don't need respect because they're students or reasons otherwise.

Off the top of my head, I feel like I can draw this scenario as a parallel to the Milgrim experiment. Man, once presented with ultimate authority, usually abuse it. So in my head, I'm conjuring up images of poor helpless students being saved by strict regimens implemented by the government to prevent torture and abuse in schools. But that's just me. I have a vivid imagination.

I'm just saying that students are in school to learn and gain knowledge. I know a lot of stress and responsibilities are placed upon teachers to achieve certain results. But just as teachers expect respect from us, I believe that I'm a person that deserves respect too. This relationship works both ways. We have much to learn from each other, and it doesn't help when one party deems themselves better, smarter and richer than us.

Although technically that's true.

Anyways, this isn't applicable to all teachers because I've met some very kind and dedicated teachers in Singapore that I'd never expect to meet. Perhaps I'm making a mountain out of a molehill. But the truth is that the scary impression I've had of teachers upon returning to Singapore from the US has been validated thus far.

comment? / top

title:
date: Monday, November 23, 2009
time:10:00 AM

Ethel just won a free trip to Hong Kong to film as a guest VJ on the Dec 8th to 9th on Channel V Countdown. I will miss prom but I will go to Post Prom from the Airport! :)

This is so exciting!!

comment? / top